I promised God that if I ever shared His words to me, I will also share this other experience which I have long kept at the back of my mind.

More than five years ago, still feeling battered from my previous relationship, I approached a counsellor at my church. Her name is Ci Ruth (ci is how we call an older Chinese Indonesian woman, it’s derived from the words jiejie). 

After a few months, I became really close to her. She became like an older sister to me. I also became really close to her close friend who stayed in Surabaya, Indonesia – Ci Arista. They helped me to pray. They helped me to strengthen myself. With God’s grace.

At that time, Jo was staying at Ci Ruth’s place. She was attending the same church as Ci Ruth and Ci Ruth suggested that Jo brought me to the young adults service. And so she did.

Soon enough, the four of us became really close. It was really a beautiful friendship, the four of us. And Ci Ruth’s place became a place of escape for me. I simply didn’t want to come home and see my ex with her new boyfriend after boyfriend. So I began staying the nights there at Ci Ruth’s place, or to be exact in Jo’s room most of the time. Ci Ruth was more than happy to welcome me. And I enjoyed very much the Indonesian home cooked food that she made for us. I was blissful.

But as I let my guard down, I didn’t realize that I grew a certain feeling towards Jo. And somehow, she felt the same for me, too. Out of all those nights we spent talking to each other, we grew very, very close. We understood each other very well. That was the first time I ever felt like I have a soulmate. It was to that level of closeness. Frankly, I never felt like that with anybody else, ever.

At that time, I have promised a friend (Mom, my PRC friend) that I would drive to Ipoh to visit her. It would be just her and me. Going to Penang and enjoying ourselves. But somehow, I didn’t want to leave Jo behind. I asked her to come with me to Ipoh and Penang. I thought, it would be nice to have a companion to drive all the long way to Ipoh, rather than just me myself. And expectedly, she jumped on the offer.

The drive to Ipoh was fun. Before we continued to Penang, we stayed one night at Mom’s place. A townhouse inside Meru Valley golf course. Very beautiful view. I shared the room with Jo, while Mom stayed at her own room.

That night, however, proved to be unbearable to both of us. There was so much fire between us, that even when I tried hard not to do anything, I couldn’t. I finally gave in. And it continued night after night when we were in Penang.

We were silent on the way back to Singapore. We didn’t know how to face Ci Ruth. And also Ci Arista. But more importantly, we didn’t know how to face God.

However, we didn’t have to say anything. They already knew. Before we even said a word, Ci Ruth asked us to sit down and said, “Tell me, what happened in Malaysia…” She said it in a tone of voice such that we couldn’t miss what she really meant.

And we broke down in tears.

Unbeknownst to us, that night when we were in Ipoh, Ci Ruth had a vision from God. She saw an old dragon fiercely chasing Jo and I, trying to devour us. And when she tried to intervene, the old dragon turned back to her with a vicious and wicked smile, trying to make her go away. She woke up in sweat and immediately she got up and prayed for us, asking for God’s protection. 

(For those of you who don’t know, in the bible, dragon and serpent are often used to represent the devil.)

The next morning, Ci Arista called her from Indonesia. It turned out that Ci Arista had the same revelation in her night prayer. They prayed together to ask for God’s protection for both of us. For they knew, something, a devilish plan, must have happened in Malaysia.

(Ci Arista is especially very sensitive to God’s voice. During those nights of confrontation with Ms. PF I often shouted to God for help. And a couple of times, Ci Arista would be looking for me the next day. She did that everytime God reminded her of me. She even tried to contact me at the end of March, days before we ended the relationship. It was like God is keeping an eye on me…)

To keep the rest of the story short, Ci Ruth asked me not to come near Jo again. But she and Ci Arista were still there for me. Prayed for me. And counselled me to go through each day. It was Jo’s persistence that finally led her to stay with me for the next 4 years. Despite Ci Ruth’s advice, she kept coming to my place until finally she packed up everything and moved in with me.

But the lingering question in my mind is this: if what we did those nights in Malaysia are not against God’s will, why had He sent those visions and revelations to Ci Ruth and Ci Arista?

Is the conclusion so clear but I just refused to see the truth? And have been blinded ever since?

I know this story is not easy to read. It probably caused some uneasiness with some of you. But I just can not keep it any longer. Now as I have shared it, I hope it will shed some light for me and for those of you who happened to read this…